Ministry: Authentic Connection

What does the word “ministry” mean to you? 

My own definition has evolved quite a bit over the last few decades. The best definition I have right now is: authentic connection. Because as a believer, when we are connecting authentically, we are sharing Him. We are LIVING Him. When we are connected to Him, and we connect with someone else, we become a conduit for everything He is.

But my perception of ministry didn’t start here.

“Ministry” Evolution

Since I grew up in a pastor’s home, “ministry” was what I did when I taught Sunday School or when I lead worship. Even cleaning the church and decorating the fellowship hall for the Fall Party counted as “ministry” because those tasks directly affected the functionality of the building, or the enjoyment of guests for an event.

If you had asked me what “ministry” was, I would have said something like “ministry is being God’s hands and feet, reaching out to people around us, being a representative of Christ and sharing Him with everyone around us.” Which sounds great. But unless there was a specific conversation where I was able to share Christ in a targeted way, or I invited someone to attend a Bible study with me, what I viewed as “ministry” was primarily what I did on Sunday morning.

When I became a mom, and by default had to step back from my Sunday morning volunteer positions, I felt useless – like I wasn’t living out my purpose. I knew that as believers we are commanded to share Christ, and since I was no longer teaching Sunday School or sharing Him through my music, it seemed as though I was not fulfilling my “assignment.”

Because this season in life left me very isolated and lonely, I hosted a few small (very informal) events at my home – specifically for moms who felt isolated like me. I called them Scones & Tea – Or Not. Which sounds ridiculous, but was with intention. The idea was that moms could come with or without kids, whether it was a good day or a hard day, in whatever state of dress or pajamas they were in. And I would provide scones and tea. Or not – if it was a hard day for me.

The whole idea was that Mom Life is messy and unpredictable, but we needed each other. So even if life was messy, and all the kids were loud and running amok, and even if I couldn’t manage to get scones in the oven, we would still get together to chat and drink tea. It was a smashing success. I got so many hugs and thank you’s and “I needed this” comments as we said good-bye.

And I gradually came to realize that was ministry, too.

Because in the middle of the chaos, of scones or not, of runny-nosed kids and meltdowns, of moms coming and going as they could, authentic connection happened. Hearts were revealed and burdens were shared. So were tears. So was laughter. And all of us realized we weren’t alone after all.

Then I started my gourmet salsa business. (Yes, I was insane to start a food business with toddlers and infants underfoot. But it was also in a sense, what saved me. More about that another day.)

And in the middle of farmers markets and deliveries to wholesale accounts, authentic connection happened. Vendors with booths near mine starting becoming friends. I found out when someone’s son had been injured, and when someone’s husband was sleeping with his secretary and their marriage was exploding. When I was the one who was injured, nearby vendors came to help me set up and tear down my booth – without me asking for help. We were friends now. And authentic connection was happening.

(Side note: it’s funny to me how when we are a conduit for God, we receive blessings we hadn’t anticipated. Authentic connection blesses everyone involved. No one wants to feel like a project. That’s not authentic connection. Authentic connection requires vulnerability on both sides.)

Authentic Connection

I’m finding that more and more I’m disagreeing with people that say church is a hospital for broken people. While it CAN function that way (picture someone having a heart attack when they accidentally wandered into a room full of EMT’s who had gathered for training), I’m seeing “church” more solidly as a gathering of BELIEVERS (which sounds silly to state the obvious, but hear me out) who are there to learn, and grow, and inspire each other, and get training. Their job is then to go out, and do what they’ve been trained to do: share the gospel, be a light, live the word, be His representatives, His voice, His actions. As in, LIVE ministry.

When we LIVE ministry, when we engage in authentic connection, people’s lives are transformed. Theirs, and ours.

It’s not that what happens on Sunday morning isn’t ministry. It is. But God uses it all. The Sunday morning ministry, the Scones and Tea ministry, and the entrepreneur networking ministry. He uses the public ministry, and He uses the quiet authentic connections that happen one-on-one. For instance, the connections that happen around our dining room table.

Authentic Connections Around the Table

My friend Melody put it like this: “The table makes us as equals because we are all there enjoying a meal. It doesn’t matter your backgrounds or your place in society, around the table we are all there for one purpose only. And that is nourishment. And that leads to other forms of nourishment that we need, i.e. spiritual needs, or emotional needs, and we can better meet those needs after we have been around the table with someone. Whether it’s a five course meal that’s elaborate, or it’s chicken out of a box on a paper plate. It’s not about the food or the presentation, it’s about the fellowship and intimacy with people.”

I am intentional about authentic connections around a table with friends, even when it’s intentionally informal or maybe even picnic style.

God can – and does – use different seasons.

For example, my mom can put on beautiful special dinners for traveling missionaries and evangelists, with special dishes and a somewhat formal setting. “Simple elegance” is what I think of with my mom and her house.

There is no way I will be putting on even semi-formal dinners during this season of my life. What I can do is offer my friends with neurodivergent children a safe place to eat together, where children do not have to finish everything on their plate, where their children can jump up and down or twirl or walk around the table, and nobody cares. It’s “normal” and accepted without question.

The people comfortable at my mom’s table may or may not be comfortable at mine. And the opposite is also true. My friend “Erin” would likely be on pins and needles and having an anxiety attack trying to keep her neurodivergent little guy contained and happy at my mom’s house.

And that, to me, is the perfect example of how God can use different seasons and different people to accomplish his purposes and “do ministry”. 

Be a Conduit: Build Authentic Connections

If you are feeling ineffective in or unable to do “ministry” as you’ve previously known it, take heart, friend. If you are engaging in authentic connection with people around you, you are ministering – whether you are leading worship on Sunday morning and ushering people into His presence and providing an atmosphere for authentic connection via heartfelt worship of the King of Kings, or whether you are sharing tears with a friend on a park bench while your children play.

When we are connected to Him, and we connect with someone else, we become a conduit for everything He is.

For more reading, I highly recommend The Gospel Comes With a House Key by Rosaria Butterfield.You may also enjoy Making Space for Someone to Meet Jesus.