There’s a healthy balance to be found somewhere between a rigid and boring textbook education and a free-for-all unschooling approach with no guidance from parents/teachers. I read an article today that was creating quite an uproar in a Facebook group for homeschool moms – specifically, moms who prefer an unschooling model of education. I understand why some of these moms had such intense reactions to the polarizing statements in the article when they’ve dealt with the fall-out of kids who have had the love of learning taken out of them by previous school experiences. But it doesn’t have to be an either/or. It’s that healthy balance that I’m aiming for with my own kids.
Simultaneous Goals
I want my kids to fall in love with learning. I want them to chase dreams and experiences for the sheer joy of exploring something new. When something in life catches their interest, I want them to know it’s okay to follow that new joy, to discover new places and people and skills.
I also want my kids to know the elation (and relief) of conquering something that was difficult, perhaps even unpleasant. I want them to have the solid confidence that they can do hard things – and succeed – and to know that even when they don’t succeed in fully mastering something difficult, the things they learned along the way were worth the journey.
Basic Skills (Beyond Reading and Writing)
There are certain basic skills (even beyond math and reading) that I feel are valuable regardless of what my children choose to do for career and lifestyles later on. And not all of those things are necessarily deemed “important” or “interesting” to an 8 year old.
Sewing on a button isn’t necessarily thrilling. And my children may never learn any sewing skills beyond that, and that’s fine. But they might decide to become a dress designer. Also fine. Either way, I’ve taught them a basic skill that introduced them to new possibilities, and sewing on a button in itself is practical thing that will save them money and benefit their life. Do they have to become an expert at sewing buttons and know all the methods for all the fabrics and situations that could present themselves? No. But they will understand and be able to execute the basic idea. Whether or not they choose to develop this skill further will be up to them.
Bigger Goals Than Academics or Child-led Learning
My goals for homeschooling are much bigger than teaching them to read and write and other formal academic subjects- because I’ve seen the danger in this approach. When your entire focus is rigidly on academics, it’s far too easy to produce kids who lack empathy, who lack social skills, and who despise new experiences and learning situations outside of the classroom.
On the flip side of this, my goals for homeschooling are much bigger than giving my children complete control of what they wish to learn – because I’ve seen the danger in this approach as well. When your entire focus is a hands-off approach, leaving your kids free to learn (and therefore NOT learn) whatever they wish, it’s far too easy to produce kids who have tunnel vision for only a handful of interests, who have few (if any) marketable skills, and who cannot follow directions.
How Do I Find a Healthy Balance?
For our family, we’re finding our way toward a healthy balance by using Sonlight as our core curriculum, and allowing ourselves the flexibility of taking lots of “side trips” as we discover things we want to learn more about.
For instance, last year the boys developed a sudden interest in frogs, and we deviated from the curriculum to explore the world of frogs via library books and youtube videos, which lead to poison dart frogs, which lead to various forms of weaponry and hunting.
This year my daughter had been listening to some history podcasts (that had nothing to do with our current level of Sonlight) and was fascinated by some of the black inventors and sports figures she was learning about. Since the podcasts provided only a brief biography of each person covered, it gave us a great opportunity to go find full-length biographies, and as a bonus we discovered some inventors we’d never heard of.
When we’re wrapping up our “side trips” into science, history, etc we come back “home” to our Sonlight level until the next big thing strikes our fancy. And in the meantime, we have a sense of routine and stability as we maintain our progress with math, Bible, spelling, etc.
I feel like this flexible approach leaves us plenty of room for child-led learning, yet also provides a stable routine of persevering with certain academics that may not be as “fun” – but are important.